A lot of people don't handle change well but life is always changing, day to day, minute to minute. Part of change is growing up, something that I thought I'd done, but I guess at 30 I still have some of that to do.
I've had to face things in the last 10 months I didn't think I'd ever have to, deployments do that to you. Make you stop and think about your life what's really important and what you cherish most.
One of those things was something about myself that I kept hidden even from me. My ability to deal with anything that I felt was unpleasant was to bury it. Bury it so far that I had forgotten why I was sad, or angry to begin with, now I'm have to unbury all that stuff and deal with it. It's not fun. But if this is what it takes to be a better, wife, mom and friend, then I'll do what has to be done.
Just writing this post was really hard, I don't want people to know that whatever picture I put up in front of you isn't real. That's how I've looked at my life for so long that what you see on the outside isn't what's on the inside.
But it's time for me to grow up and deal..............
with
the good,
the bad,
and
the ugly.
And hope that by me admiting I need to talk to someone can help someone else get the courage to do the same thing.